Day 2 in Melbourne.

So I hardly get up in the morning and I get a call from a friend who I dint keep in touch with (Sorry Bhanu) and who I did not inform about my arrival but somehow  managed to find out, nagging me for being such a stuck up (Akadu in hindi) and I think to myself,  I’m not a snob…. and then we talked and it felt nice. Thank you Bhanu for calling, it was sweet.

Next I called a number of people inquiring about accommodation and holy crap, half of them either gone or rent touching the sky. Somehow I managed to get a decent bargain and I was asked to inspect it in the evening at 4:30pm. It was 12pm and I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning so I drank a glass of milk and left for the uni to meet a friend.

Stuti had told me earlier about the makeover of the library and I was eager to know what renovations are done. At the entrance were these huge letters LIBRARY in electric blue colour and it looked like glow sticks (I’m not sure if they do glow in the dark) but it looked pretty cool. It looked way cooler inside. As I walked in I felt like I had entered a lounge. Dim lights striking bold colours green, orange, black, wonderful wood carvings, new couches, more computers, better looking shelves, intrestingly placed journals and books. And it’s a hit, you could see that in the attendance there was no computer unoccupied and limited seats on the couch. It was niceeee.

Next we went to eat at Subway and  even though I swore off pizzas and subs and burgers I had to given in as that would be my first meal in 26 or 27 hours. And we ran into a person I once called friend (Saurabh- who I don’t remember offending but he just suddenly flipped some months ago) nevertheless I waved and that was it .  A little later I accidentally ran into another person I knew I would have to come across sooner or later and had wondered for sometime how that would turn out to be. And surprisingly it dint feel anything at all. It was just a casual “hello” and I walked passed.

At 4:30pm Stuti and myself went to the place for inspection and after walking for a while we thought, we were lost but thank god we reached our destination. I saw the house, it was clean and tidy, well maintained and the room has a double bed, nice wardrobe, and it was spacious window facing a huge ground . And I decided, ‘This is the place’ and though its a long walk to the uni its a small price to pay. I came back to the library alone needed to check my units and stuff and I was online too and a friend I had almost forgotten buzzed me. We chatted and she said we should catch up and I just felt so good. It was nice to hear from you Florence after a very long time.

That’s how my day went, leaving nothing but smiles before I go to bed and I’m thankful for it.

What the Hell is Going on??

This was not my plan. This was not what was supposed to happen. This is not how I want to feel. This is not who I am supposed to be.  I feel like I don’t know myself anymore.

These thoughts do spring up time and again in my head when I think about myself in the larger picture, but then why do I go and do exactly the opposite?? And Why have I no regrets? Why don’t I stop and say, it’s wrong? Why don’t I feel guilty?

I ask myself several times, what is it that I really want? And there are no voices in my head. I don’t believe a persons conscience can be dead, it’s just funny but I guess mine is asleep.

I would have never imagined saying this a few years ago but I’m turning Wicked and I like it for now. I have just taken myself by surpirse. Things are only going to get more interesting from now on ; ) and I’d like to see how things unfold. \m/ \m/

Happy Holidays

It’s been a long since my last post. And now that the exam fever is over I can relax and do a lot of writing. So updates on what else I have been doing?? hmm… Lets see, exams got over on 12th Nov. It was stressful as always but it’ll all be worth it. It also marked the end of my 2nd semester, 2 down 2 more to go. Wow in one more year I’ll be a  double postgraduate. I just want to get this over with because I just cannot study anymore, inspite of the fact that the learning process has been extremely exciting and fruitful in the last two semesters. I have loved every bit of it. So that’s it about the studies.

Its exactly one week that my vacations have begun, and I have been chilling out at my friend’s place watching movies, sleeping over, drinking couple of beers, dining with them, making muffins for them and It’s been niceee. But that’s just one week and I’m on vacations for another 3months (summer holidays), and I wonder where is the summer actually???? Though you don’t require jumpers and blankets anymore but its still windy and cool.

In a few days the “schoolies” begin.  Schoolies??? It’s a great time for kids to kick back, hang out with their mates and celebrate the end of school and all the hard work they’ve put in over the year. It’s that time of the year when students leave their houses without telling their parents where they’re going and hang with friends doing drugs, alcohol, having random sex. It’s gnarly, isn’t it??

Well, I have a lot of plans for the vacation with Christmas and New Year around the corner. It’s only gonna get better from now on. And I’ll keep updating it here. Till then G’day Mate!!!

Ka-Ching!!!(Sweet sound of Cash)

Friend :- Tell me something good about life?

Me :-  Life is a Bitch (being cynical as always)

The best part of anyone’s life is their childhood. You’re carefree, you get all you want on a platter, you just need to place an order with the universe and its done. There’s no stress, not much of thinking, not working hard. Things are easy and simple, not at all complicated, you enjoy life, sleep soundly at nights and then…………….

you grow up and the nightmares begin. Then there’s the insomnia phase. Loads and loads of tension.  Need to buy a house, need to buy a car, save up for my marriage, start a family and the answer is Money.  How will I get the money? How will I manage the loans? How do I manage expenses? I want to dress well on occasions (my dress should be better than hers).  How do I fair better than others to get paid well at work???  I want to travel around the globe.  Stress stress and more stress.

And so you slog, run a rat race and if you disagree, you’re in denial.

So money has definitely become the center of our lives. Some earn it the hard way but most people hmmm… It is the root cause of all evil like you might have heard.

Simple metaphor -  If you have the talent you can be a good actor, and if you don’t you just have to sleep with the director.

So then you have earned the money either way, now you have purchasing power, you can afford a lot of things. But the greed is always there and you want more and more and more than the others. And you are 50yrs old now, with lot of wealth, so what now??

Can money buy back the years you have lost chasing it???? Can money buy you back the friends you have back stabbed just to get a level higher???  Can money buy you sleep knowing that may be your partner is in bed with someone else???  Can money buy you peace???

Hmmm….  now you’ll say that there are many other things that are more important than money. Ok Agreed. So you mean you can be happy even without the money? hmm….So are you going to be happy living a simple life? Doing a 9-5 office job. Earning a small salary. Eating only bread butter and not thinking about Cheese??

Think about it.

Believe it or not but honey, it’s all about the money!!!

Feeling a Little Lost

Everything was OK until a few days ago. All of a sudden I don’t understand what’s going wrong. I’m having another one of my mood swings. Feeling depressed, anger, lost, irritated, frustrated all together. It’s a phase where I hate everyone and everything and why, even I have no idea. I want to just spoil all the things all the relationships.  I want everyone to hate me.

I want to go home, see my family. I guess I am homesick but I don’t know if  I’m ready to go back, just yet. How did I go from being ambitious to having no dreams at all now?? A few years ago I knew what I wanted from life. I knew that I wanted to come to Australia. I would dream about it all the time. And my dreams unfolded, just like I wanted it to. But I feel so insignificant now. I feel so unwanted. I hate myself so much that I don’t even like my own company.

What is wrong with me?? Why am I feeling so low???? Why am I so confused about everything??? It’s like you know the rights things, you know the right ways, you know what you ought to do but you delibrately choose to go the other way. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????

I don’t wish to talk to anyone about it, because I feel they perceive me as being the problem child. They may think that, this is another one of her tantrums to make things all about her, to gain attention. She’s so self absorbed. She’s all she thinks about. Hmmmm……  it shouldn’t really matter what people say and how they think, but it does affect (not that anyone has said or done something recently that I’m hurt about).

Damn it  I’m off

The Secret – I

The Secret is the law of attraction.

Everything that comes into your life, you are attracting and you’re attracting it by virtue of the images you’re loading in your mind.

The only reason why people don’t have what they want is because they are thinking more about what they don’t want than what they do want.

When you focus on something, no matter what it happens to be, you really are calling that into existence.

Your whole life is a manifestation of all the thoughts that go on in your head.

If you thought you were insignificant and had no power in this world, think again. Your mind is actually shaping the world around you.

It has been scientifically proven that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought.

“One way to master your mind is to learn to quiet your mind.“

You have the power to change anything, because you are the one who chooses your thoughts and you are the one who feels your feelings.

There is no greater power in the universe than the power of love. The feeling of love is the highest power you can emit. If you could wrap every thought in love, if you could love everything and everyone your life would be transformed.

There is a truth deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that Truth is this: you deserve all good things life has to offer.

Great Ocean Road

2 cars, 8friends and as usual late kates, we left for the trip around 8:30am. Busy city lanes and GPS in only 1 car, it was hard to stay together. Everyone was just hoping for the weather to be fine, and Thank God it was a perfect day.

So seat belts fastened, the music swelled and off we went. We drove past, The West Gate Highway (the view of the port was better the next day while arriving back home with cruise ships anchored.) And hardly an hour on the road and Udi’s bladder signaled lol. So now we had to look for a place to pullover. Hahahaha guess what, and then another two people wanted to join team Udi. Finally when we stopped at a petrol station it looked like it was contagious, all wanted to use the bathroom but what a relief hehehe now we can drink coke once again.

Resumed our journey once again drove past Geelong another Deakin Campus. And soon we hit the coast line. One of the world’s most spectacular coastal drives, passing rugged cliffs, wild and beautiful beaches on one side and lush green plain and plateaus with sheep grazing on them on the other end, passing mountain rainforest and tall eucalypts at intervals. It was paradise, clear sky, the color of the ocean in sets of blue, green and purple and the sun shining brightly made an exceptional view.  It’s beyond words to describe the beauty of God’s creation; you have to see it to believe it. We stopped several places to take pictures. We took a halt at a beach, the beach was “CLEAN” the sand was pure and shining like gold in the sunlight,  the winds were pleasant, we dipped our feet at the beach, the water was freezing cold and I missed GOAAAAAAAA.

Stopped for a quick grub, most of us feeling woozy, had some limes and a quick lunch, Mr. Sharma managed to spray tomato sauce on his pants and as decent as he is (being sarcastic), started blurting out all his favorite words lol. And Udi with his sense of humor offered to buy him tampons hahahahaha. All cleaned up and it was time to find some accommodation. Managed to get a reasonable place located just across the beach (I was happy, now I could take my walk on the beach alone at night.)

Next destination, the Twelve Apostles. The road from Lorne to Apollo Bay was long and rather boring. But on reaching the 12 Apostles, it was all worth it. The stunning collection of 8 limestone stacks just off the shore with the sun setting behind was the most notable attraction along the Great Ocean road. There were helicopter rides too but it would burn holes in my pockets ($80 for 15mins), so I decided against it.  We drove back and stopped at the beach it was getting cold, the sun had set but we wanted to play and we did for a few minutes lol and the rules of the game kept changing and changing and all of us gave up.

Reached Lorne picked up some food went to our rooms, played a game of uno. I had two beers; (well done I’m proud of myself for once I decided against being the drama queen).  I was tired, and so  was everyone else so we went off to bed.

I sneaked out quietly at midnight. It was freezing colddddd… initially but then the winds began to grow on me. I loved it.  I walked towards the beach. No traffic, no souls on the street, all I could hear was the waves break at the shore. The sky was clear with manyyyyy twinkling stars. The great bear was noticeable. I could see the bright red light signaling from lighthouse. Sitting on the bench, staring into the sky, listening to the waves break at the shore and in a few seconds sound like the fizz of aerated drinks (riveting), and I began to wrap my head around so many thoughts but I felt at peace, and I loved being alone. After half an hour I went back, jumped into my blanket and slept soundly.

Next morning all got dressed and hit the beach once again. Kunu, Bhanu n Nishu as predictable jumped into the cold water.  Adil uncle couldn’t stay in the water for more than a few seconds and Udi dint have extra clothes. I wanted to join in toooooooo, but the girls wouldn’t accompany me. I know for sure if Hazel and I were together we wouldn’t have let this chance go, so that’s that. Had some lunch, Fish and chips not anywhere close to the perfect lunch I would have had at Seagull Resort in Goa anyways. Less than 24hrs and the holiday was over, and once again taking the road back home. Kunal, Nishant and I drove back together.  Mr. Kumbakaran (Nishu baby) was fast asleep in the back seat, Kunal busy driving and I was trying to figure out what all I have to do over the coming days.  And before we knew, we were home. It’s always amazing to notice that the trips back home are way faster than getting to the destination hmmmm?

I am thankful for the holiday, it was long due and well deserved and I enjoyed myself. All smiles

PS: Pictures speak volumes, so will upload them soon.

Bizzaro Knots

What perfect timing. Not many hours ago, I was discussing with a few friends about marriage and today morning I get the word that another friend of mine back home is engaged. Congratulations Girl. So the count is approx 5 of my friends married or already engaged. Waddup people??? We’re all the same age, and I’m not even 22. Phewww it’s hard to  digest.

And now my mind is ticking, is it time to start thinking about settling down and I don’t mean plan a wedding right away, but do we have to start planning a future already???. Like my friends mentioned yesterday about taking loans to buy a house. But I’m only 21 ya (  I know many of my friends whose parents have been talking to them of the idea and already looking for options. Oh man, it’s a scary thought. I haven’t really had the talk with my parents. But when I was talking to mum once she did say 26-27 is the right age. So I still have sometime. Anyways I have the feeling that marital bliss will come very late for me.

I think all my friends will attend my wedding with their spouses lol. This sounds like fun. Let’s make the list (please take it lightly, I’m just having a little fun here)

Shendi n Bhenkri (lol U’ll make an awesome couple and witout a doubt u top my list)

Ally n Reynold (Ally don’t change your mind again and become a nun)

Jonnnnyy  Boy (forgot ur gfs name, I hope you’re still with her )

Cherylann n …..(secret for now, but I wish you get a catholic guy, don’t join my league lol)

Elaine n Bruce ( marriage is only formality for you’ll na?? lol)

Rebyl n Dan ( Sweets you still have to introduce me to your guy)

Vicky n Vyona ( I seriously doubt ur commitment vicky )

Rubs n Sheldon ( Happening couple, you’ll really compliment each other)

Shaju n Mel

Vishu darling n Cherie ( sorry ya but what a weird name)

Darryl n hmmm… Royston orrr Nicky ?? lol

I hope you’ll all end up together. God Bless

And I know I’ll find my man soon because God can’t do this to me, not to the most Romantic person on earth hehehehe.  So after being single for 2 years, I guess I’m ready to start dating seriously again.

1 more addition to the above list Snadu and Suzan – wht the hell snadu you’re younger than me
So now that leaves me, the only single one in the group.

Mixed Feelings

So I was in a very good mood all day and was hoping to pen my thoughts about my mystery man “K”. But some people can just ruin it for you. Yeah ok, I see now your focusing on “K” and no you’re guessing wrong, if you feel you know him. At the moment he’s non existent, if i could re-phrase, he’s just the man of my dreams. Fiction OK, it’s very cliched  to dream about someone, just like how most girls have their knights in shining amour blah blah blah…… Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not so fancy. But yeah I do have a name for him.

So if at anytime I mention things about him, “NOTE THAT ANY RESEMBLANCE IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL” (of course it should be otherwise how would I know I have found him, Silly me).

So what now…….

Since I had a small chat with my ex-boyfrnd today ( who unfortunately ruined it for me, Not really his mistake. I just don’t get him anymore. He just finds a way to get back at me. I hope he stops doing that. Revenge was always his tactic lol.)

Hmmm not a good idea to write about him here. Bcoz I know he’ll come across it and the same old boring story will continue once again. He’ll blame me, I’ll blame him. Passing the buck around. Sometimes I want this all to be over. Not wanting to have anything to do with him anymore. All this while I kept in touch only because I know for a fact, he’s a nice guy and we have had too much of a history to just write him off from my life. But I feel I should, once and for all. And now that he’s made a revelation to me Hmmm… He said he’s in Love (lol, No offence) But just that what does he know about love??  huh (tease, tease) And poor guy, he’s upset that the girl just likes him as a friend. Age old question “For Love or for Friendship???” Any thoughts?  Well, If you ask me. I say it depends if you’ll are just casual friends then its ok go ahead spill your heart,there’s nothing to lose. But then if you’ll are really close friends you have to weigh your options. You might decide to give it a shot but what if it doesnt work out, wont that affect your comfort level. ( Of course it will) And I feel it’s always best to keep it secret with friends because the whole process is intense and it gives you an amazing rush which unlike in a relationship fades away. The feeling of not knowing what to expect next is just undenialbly sexy. Ohhhhhkkkk Hmmm… Control your emotions now.

So where was I, Oh ya for love or friendship ???? Hmm wateva works for you. And I say again, With close friends it’s RISKY. But I have also heard friends make better Lovers. ( Oh and for Inside view, “K” has been my best friend till now, we still haven’t taken it to the next level, considering my 4 yrs of insane day dreaming about him. It’s pretty sad but I know eventually something will happen)

Sorry I couldn’t write about him today even though I so wanted to.  But hey, I wont keep you waiting for too long. Bye for now

PS: I dont like calling him “K”. I’m gonna have to work on calling him something better because I don’t wish to give out his name.  Secret shuuussh…. Hmmmmm……..

Simple Things

Here comes another weekend. Time for sure is flying. Had a pretty decent day, was excited to see my blog stats, 3 viewers after 4 days. So it’s cool atleast I have a few people still reading. Also, I came across a blog after adding “tag surfer” and the guys blog was impressive and you know why??? Because what he has been writing for so long are all my thoughts too. Some issues that I have been battling since childhood, some fears which I have been trying to overcome for the longest time and reading all his posts made me feel good. Made me realize more importantly, that I’m not the only one who thinks that way. Nothing makes you feel better than the fact that you can relate to someone.

An old frnd friend managed to find me on the net, it feels nice when you know someone thinks of you and tried to get in touch. He said it wasn’t too hard to find me but what’s more important here is, that he took the trouble to look for me and that’s what makes it special Especially when its someone you faintly remember. And after chatting for a while, and not related to the conversation at all springs a compliment, “You’re a good gal” and you wonder why did he say it, and he smiles and says just. Hmmm….

Had an omlette for dinner (lol) something I would eat for breakfast if I was back home. And I begin to realise that you don’t need big surprises, you dont’ need special ocassions, you don’t need something extravagant to smile and be happy. Even the smallest and the simplest of things make you feel happy and content. The world is not that bad a place after all

I’m thankful for today !!!